![]() NC (vo): Yes, PART of your money will go to the science museums. She-Ra: Part of your $2.35 2-minute call will go to local science museums. He-Man: We’ll also tell you how to get an action figure or this colorful poster. NC (vo dubs over He-Man): Fabulous stories about what I may or may not be wearing will be revealed to you when you hold aloft your mighty phone and say, “I GOT PARENT'S PERMISSION!” (A lightning bolt strikes He-Man’s sword.) I.HAVE.PERMISSIOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! (Accompanying text appears onscreen) Again, as if these didn’t already have a sexual slant by today’s standards, you honestly have to put He-Man in your ads now? Now you’re just turning the sexual undertones into sexual overtones. (TV static transition to: A hotline featuring He-Man characters.) NC (vo): What else can you say but…Barbie? (The car approaches the two girls, a bright flash occurs as though transforming into something) NC (vo): She just sounds so entranced, too, doesn’t she? It’s like, off-screen, the product suddenly turned into an incredible superhero or something.įemale Announcer: Dolls and fashions sold separately. NC: (laughs) What was up with that girl’s reaction? It’s like she forgot she was supposed to be impressed with the product. NC: Ha! Fuck that giant pussy convertible! (holds up a Micro Machines toy car) This is a man’s car! (smiles, but looks at it and frowns before tossing the toy aside) I mean, at what point did we look at TV and say… Girls get the giant detailed dolls, we get the little G.I. Have you ever noticed that? (Photos of toys NC mentions are shown.) Girls got the huge convertibles, we got Micro Machines. Now how weird is that? You think we’d be all about things being bigger and stronger, but no. NC (vo): Actually, the funny thing I realize about this is that, if that car was a little smaller, it’d be a boy’s toy. Drive through…glitter, pick up dangerous hitchhikers, pose it against that curious gigantic city backdrop that you have for some reason… NC (vo): Yes, you can do everything with it. Fucking girly ads, they just keep us from our lust of plastic weapons!įemale Announcer: You put it together. NC (vo): Oh, figures that we start on a girl's commercial. Girl background singers: We're into cool cars! The commercial shows two girls playing with a Barbie doll driving a toy Ferrari.) (TV static transition to: A Barbie car commercial. (The title "We’ll Be Right Back." is shown.) Three Clay Singers: After these messages.Ĭlay Fire Hydrant: (sings) After these messages.Ĭlay Cowboy: (sings) After these messages.Ĭlay Dog: (sings) After these messages. (Just as before, we then see a compilation of ABC clay animated "After These Messages" bumpers.) NC: And guess what? We’re gonna look at ‘em again today! So, welcome to part 2 of a look back in nostalgic commercials in a segment that I like to call “We’ll Be Right Back!” The 80s and 90s gave our childhoods some really silly products and even sillier ways of advertising them to us. And they’re so much fun to watch and laugh at. NC (vo): Yeah, I guess it is a weird idea to review commercials, but like I said before, they live in their own little world. (Clips from various nostalgic commercials start playing.) Well, I got my recliner, I got my "I Donut Donuts" T-shirt on that can only mean one thing. If not then please leave this page and do not purchase.(NC sits on his recliner and flipping a TV channel before addressing to the camera.) Please check the content thoroughly on this page and that you are committed to taking relentless action and will put in the effort before you decide to make a purchase. We are here to help and guide you to move forward faster by giving you awesome content, direction and strategies to reach your end goal. Results in life are solely based on decisions made. We don't make any guarantees about your own results because we don't know you. Our products are intended to help you share your message with the world whilst growing your business. If you want a magic button that will fulfil your life with riches then please leave this page and do NOT purchase. Your results are based upon your actions. You will get no results whatsoever if you assume by soaking up information products, joining program after program your life will change with riches. The results featured on this page are not the norm and are extraordinary results from hard work, commitment and dedication by following through and taking action. It's a fact that one that does not take action will see no results whatsoever. We believe in hard work, adding value and dedication to reach your goals. Disclaimer: We do NOT believe in get rich quick programs.
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